made the mistake of reading up about Alexander the Great’s relationship with his best friend Hephaestion and learnt that he was kind of a drama queen because
after Hephaestion died, he spent maybe 1.5 billion dollars on his funeral which is a conservative estimate
spent all night weeping over the body until they dragged him away
extinguished a light only reserved to signify the death of the king (i.e. himself, Alexander the Great)
went to the oracle and petitioned to have Hephaestion granted the status of a god but was denied
nine months later, was still planning expensive monuments dedicated to his pal, except then he died, so what can you do
people say the only thing that ever defeated Alexander the Great was Hephaestion’s thighs
History trying to tune down the gay be like “This friendship lasted throughout their lives, and was compared, by others as well asthemselves, to that of Achilles and Patroclus.” without realising that’s the gayest comparison they could make.
when you read a fic and you see a reference or a hint about something that is likely to happen later and you just know the writer knows that u know and ur both like
the reason why fake dating fics are so enjoyable is because they are a combination of slow burn and established relationship fics. the reader is able to picture what a relationship between the 2 characters is like, but there is still an element of suspense and a chance to develop this relationship because they are not actually dating. in this essay i will
honestly if you wouldn’t bond with a symbiote you’re a fucking idiot, like you get unbelievably powerful and sexy and all you have to do is what? not go in fire or listen to noises that sound bad? newsflash idiot i already dont go in fire or listen to noises that sound bad. dumbass. you gotta eat some living flesh once in a while? whatever dude easy shit
you dont even need to do that its canon that the symbiotes just need one chemical from people and its also found in chocolate so you get to be huge and sexy and eat a bunch of chocolate
With the right brain chemistry, you dont even need to do that. Phenethylamine, the chemical in chocolate that symbiotes crave, is naturally produced by your brain when you’re in love. Therefore, if you love and cherish your goth symbiote gf, you can be big and sexy with NO consequences.
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